


Never Piss Off Lysithea

by thestoryilltell



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pining, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-11-02 05:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20632556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestoryilltell/pseuds/thestoryilltell
Summary: Sylvain doesn't think about his words which leads to Lysithea deciding to make his life hell by stealing his man.





	Never Piss Off Lysithea

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this is 2 hours to see how good i can make this. i read a timkon similar to this where kon eats bart pizza and bart decided to steal tim from him and i made this. hopefully yall enjoy it. this is just a practice fic.

“Can you go bother someone else?” Sylvain asked Lysithea without thinking, to be fair he almost never thought but this time he was preoccupied with trying to get to Petra, who was sparring with Felix. She was in his favorite training uniform mostly because the shorts were short enough that he could see her tanned legs but partially because her crop to barely cover her breasts. So, he wasn’t pay attention to what he was saying because if he was, he would have known why his world was about to end. “I don’t have time to baby-sit right now.”

He pushed past her and if it weren’t for Ingrid covering her mouth, Dark Spikes would have impaled the paladin then and there. Both Bernadetta and Ashe missed their target and if it weren’t for Edelgard and Dedue discussing shields, they would have gotten shot. Raphael took a mean right hook from Caspar because he turned his head to make sure Lysithea hadn’t killed him. Even Hubert looked worried for the red-haired Lothario.

“Lysithea, let’s go be somewhere that’s not here, honey,” Annette said as she did her best to break Lysithea’s line of sight on the unsuspecting boy.

“No, it’s fine.” She said as she let a devilish smile creep across her face, “I’m not angry.”

But everyone knew she was. That’s why no one was surprised when she called an emergency meeting of the “Horny People Don’t Deserve Rights” Club later that day.

“I call this meeting of ‘Make Sure Sylvain Doesn’t Father Any Children’ club to order,” Claude said from behind the podium. Somewhere from the crowd of students, he vaguely heard someone say that wasn’t the name. “As I understand, Lysithea is the one that called this meeting?” He asked as he turned to the white-haired girl.

“Yes,” she said as she cleared her voice. “As many of you know,” she started, her voice quivering a bit to try to get some sympathy from the other students. “I was trying to ask Sylvain for advice on bonding with a horse,” her voice breaking, “and he called me a baby.”

A few students sucked in a quick breath and Hilda rubbed Lysithea’s back to soothe the younger girl. “That dick.” A few girls murmured to themselves as Lysithea composed herself. “Why does he think that’s the proper way to talk to a lady?” Someone said, probably Linhardt. 

“Anyway,” Lysithea said as she wiped away a few tears, “to teach him a lesson,” she said as she turned to the Blue Lions students, “I think we need to steal Felix from him.” Some Blue Lions looked around, trying to see how Felix factors in with this feud.

“Why Felix?” Dimitri asked, looking over to see that Felix’s spot is uncharacteristically empty.

“Just trust me,” Lysithea replied, with a glint in her eyes that made Dimitri glad he wasn’t on the receiving end of this girl’s wrath.

“What are we going to do?” Ingrid asked, already giggling over the idea of torturing her childhood friend.

“I need Petra, Hilda, Dorothea, Caspar and Claude to take up all of Felix’s sparring time at the training ground. Sylvain won’t admit it, but he secretly enjoys training with his best friend. Linhardt and Leonie, I need you two to ask him to tutor you. Ingrid and Dimitri, I need both of you to pair up with Felix whenever you have to. Dorothea, Hilda, Edelgard, and Annette, I need you to flirt with him. Not enough for Felix to notice it, but enough that Sylvain knows that there are girls more interested in Felix than him. Ashe, Bernadetta, Mercedes and Marianne, I need you to struggle around Felix. I know he doesn’t like inadequacies so he will undoubtedly help you. If all of this works, in three weeks Sylvain would be miserable.” Claude was dumbfounded. He didn’t know Lysithea was this sinister, he was proud with this plan.

“Everyone else without a specific role, all you have to do is keep Sylvain away from Felix. This will teach him to call me a baby.” She said as Claude called the meeting to a close and Lysithea couldn’t keep the smile to herself.

Felix really wanted to get some early morning practice. The mountain air kept his muscles from getting overworked and the world was always quiet. But on his way to the training ground, he heard a massive clatter coming from the dining hall and rushed to make sure whoever it was, was ok.

“Goddess,” Mercedes sobbed as she bent down to pick up the pots and pans that she had dropped. There was some porridge cooling on the floor as she reached to pick up the still pot. “Ow!” She exclaimed as she yanked her hand away from the hot metal.

Felix rushed over to help his fair-haired classmate. “Let me see that,” Felix said as he extended his hand.

“No,” she said as she blew on the blister growing on her palm. “It’s fine. I don’t want to bother you.”

“You not bothering me,” Felix said as he grabbed at the hand and examined her raw red palm. He cast a simple heal spell and watched as the burn slowly disappeared. “I’ve been trying to work on my white magic anyway,” he said as he catches a flash of red in the corner of his eyes, but when he turns his head, the red is gone.

“Thank you,” Mercedes said shyly back to the blue-haired boy. She didn’t like that she was tricking Felix into being nice, but she liked that Felix was acting less like a hedgehog today.

Felix finally realized he was still holding her hand and he cleared his thought and helped her up before walking out of the dining hall to head to his training.

Sylvain didn’t like waking up early, but he’s tried to get some sparring in with Felix but every day this week, either Caspar or Petra was sparring him. By the time they were done sparring, Felix was covering in sweat and his muscles burned so he always declined working out with Sylvain. So, against his better judgment, he was awake before dawn.

But someone had already beat him to training with his best friend. Claude was already there and fighting Felix with a spear. Sylvain’s training spear. The spear he always worked out with. “Come on, Fe.” Claude said as he dodged a downward swipe from Felix’s sword. The use of Sylvain’s nickname of Felix did not go ignored. “I know you’re better with your sword. Show me you know how to thrust it.” And Felix’s attack faltered as Claude knocks Felix to the ground with the spear and Sylvain feels something burn in his veins.

“I guess my spear was stronger than your sword,” Claude said and was that him flirting? Sylvain continued to watch from the gates as Claude helped Felix up and whispered something into his ear, it causes a blush to spread over Felix’s cheeks and Sylvain storms off before he can see anything else.

“Hey, Felix.” Sylvain called as he tried to catch up to Felix. They hadn’t had a proper conversation since class three days ago and he really wanted to see how his friend was doing. But as he rushed up to him, Dorothea practically threw herself at Felix.

“Felix, my darling,” Dorothea giggled as she adjusted Felix’s hair, so it wasn’t in his face anymore. “I need your help. I’m trying to perfect my wrath strike. I know how strong you are,” she said as she ran a finger over his collar. “And I promise I would make it worth your while.

Felix sighed and for a second, he wanted to say no, but then he remembered that Sylvain told him to try to be nicer to other students. “Yeah, I guess.” Felix replied and, in her excitement, she kissed his cheeks and practically dragged him to the training ground.

Sylvain was left standing there, wondering when he would be able to talk to his best friend.

“Felix, you would never believe who I saw Hilda kissing,” Sylvain said as he barged into Felix’s room. Felix had stopped locking it because it was just easier to have Sylvain barge in than getting up to unlock the door every time he wanted to talk.

Both Linhardt and Felix’s head snapped up from the book they were going over.

“Oh sorry.” Sylvain said as he walked back out of the room.

Felix birthday came and Sylvain had picked out a Levin Sword to give him. It was to help him get control over his magic and Sylvain knew he’s been saving up to get one. But there was never a good moment to give it to him. He wanted to do it when he was alone, but there was never a moment when he was by himself. Every time Sylvain turned around there was another person hanging off Felix’s arm. Claude on the way to the knight’s hall. Linhardt to the library. Hilda to the marketplace. Sylvain never noticed how popular Felix was until everyone got in his way. Even that night, Felix wasn’t in his room when he stopped by and Sylvain didn’t have it in him to watch his best friend spend his birthday with someone else.

Byleth had assigned a project due next week with partners and Sylvain was literally vibrating in his seat to pick Felix as his partner. He hasn’t spent any time with him in the last week and he really wanted to hang out with his best friend again, even if it meant it was over a project.

Byleth went down the list alphabetically and Sylvain knew that the only person he had to worry about was Ingrid picking Felix as her partner. It didn’t surprise him when Dimitri decided to work with Dedue, they worked together on everything. What really surprised him was when Annette chose Felix as her partner. He thought for sure she was going to choose Mercedes because they were best friends, so it really threw a wrench in his plans when she stole Felix from him. _At least I could get Ingrid or Mercedes, _he thought as he knew Ingrid was the next to choose and he let a cocky grin spread across his face that fell instantly when she chose Mercedes to be her partner. That just left Ashe. Small, innocent, and very male Ashe.

“Annette,” Sylvain whispered to her as they moved to sit next to their partners. “I need you to switch with me. Please.” And he could hear the desperation in his voice. _What the hell, _he asked himself, _why do I care so much about this?  
_ “Nope,” Annette said with a smile, “he’s mine.” And Sylvain felt something he only felt when he couldn’t have a girl flare in his chest. “Maybe after this I’ll be his best friend.” She said menacingly.

“Come on,” Sylvain said as he sat down next to the taller boy, “it won’t be that bad working with me.” And Sylvain really felt bad when he heard the sad pitch in Ashe’s voice.

“No,” Sylvain replied trying to soothe the young boy, “I’ll be glad to work with you.” But he really wanted to work with Felix.

Sylvain was really beginning to think something was up when Claude and Edelgard were both talking to Felix. _What is going on?_ Sylvain asked himself as he began to walk over to the trio. But he was cut off by Dedue and Dimitri and they were talking to him, but he wasn’t listening. He was too busy watching Felix laugh at one of Claude’s jokes and he wanted to walk over there and deck the young alliance leader. Felix never laughed at his jokes.

Sylvain almost tried to push past D&D but there was no way of getting past the brick wall that was Dedue’s chest.

_Why aren’t they letting me talk to Felix? _He asked as Edelgard looked over to where Sylvain was standing and threw an arm over Felix’s shoulders and led him away from Sylvain.

Felix was resting under a tree, trying to get a few moments of peace away from the rest of the monastery. He was personally exhausted. Between helping Linhardt and Leonie with history lessons, training with practically everyone in their class, and all the casual touches the girls were giving him, he hadn’t had a moment alone in weeks.

The only person that wasn’t talking to him was Sylvain. He had thought back to everything he’d done in the last month to try to find what he had done to annoy the older boy. He hadn’t been overly critical to Sylvain; he was actually trying his best to be nicer to him. The stupid crush he harbored to him was eating away at his resolve.

He could see Sylvain across the field, flitting from girl to girl. If he wasn’t so emotionally spent, he would have rolled his eyes, but he was just so tired. If Sylvain didn’t want to talk to him, he wasn’t going to try. All his life, he spent it chasing after Sylvain as he chased after girls. Always leaving him in second place. This last month proved it to him.

“Felix,” Sylvain finally said after trying to find a moment alone with him for three weeks.

“Oh,” Felix said, not turning away from his book. “You do remember who I am.” There was poison in those words, but mostly there was a cold sadness. And Sylvain wanted to hug him.

“How could I forget?” Sylvain asked as he sat down next to Felix. “It’s a day where I get to celebrate you.” Sylvain said as he leaned into the other’s shoulder. “I would never give up the chance to show you how important you are.”

“Yeah, right.” Felix grumbled wanted to get away from Sylvain as soon as possible.

“No,” Sylvain said as he grabbed Felix’s wrist to keep him from running away. “I’ve been trying to talk to you all month.”

Electricity ran through Felix as he looked down at where Sylvain’s hand was holding on to his wrist. “I’ve been here. Where have you been?”

“Trying to get through everyone,” Sylvain said as he rubbed his thumb over Felix’s knuckles. “Seriously, you’ve been really popular this month.”

“I’ve been bothered all month.” Felix simply said as he slumped back onto Sylvain’s shoulder.

“I think I love you.” Sylvain said quietly. Almost too quietly. Felix almost didn’t hear it.

“Stop,” Felix spat out, and Sylvain heard the poison enter his voice again.

“It’s true.” Sylvain said as he turned to look at Felix. There was something in Felix’s eyes that he hadn’t seen before. Vulnerability and fear. “This month proved it. I’ve been so miserable without you.”

“Don’t say something that you don’t mean,” Felix said as he tried to remove his hand from Sylvain’s grip. “This is very cruel.”

“No,” he said as he tried to hold onto Felix hand, but it was already pulling away. “I mean this. I love you.” And Felix turned to him and saw the truth. Sylvain’s eyes were full of emotions. “It just took me losing you for a month to realize it.”

“Shut up,” Felix said and there was no bite to his words, the words just floated out of mouth as he tried to run away. But Sylvain was fast than him. He was on his feet and grabbing Felix’s shoulders before he got too far.

“Felix,” Sylvain said, “you’re the most important person in my life and I need you to know this in case I don’t see you for another month.”

Sylvain stopped thinking as Felix’s lips pressed to him. There were chapped and dry from sitting out in the sun for hours, but Sylvain never wanted to kiss any other lips ever again. “Shut up,” Felix said as he pressed his forehead to Sylvain’s.

Lysithea didn’t expect Sylvain to walk up to her in the library. He also didn’t expect to see Felix holding his hands with bruises on his neck. She especially didn’t expect the words “I’m sorry for calling you a baby” to come out of his mouth. She really had nothing to say as she saw Sylvain grab Felix’s hand before walking away.

“Sorry,” Ashe said from behind a book. “I had to tell them why we were all being weird.”

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is sylvaelix if you wanna follow me there.


End file.
